I dream quite a bit. I don’t always remember my dreams, but when I do, the experience is incredibly intense. I can feel the action happening and sometimes, I don’t want it to end, especially if it is a good dream. Sometimes, if it is so good, I will physically will myself (and I can feel myself doing this mid-dream) not to wake up. Sometimes it works, and the wonderful dream continues, and sometimes I continue to dream, but it becomes incredibly convoluted. I guess my dream figures out I’m forcing myself to continue to dream or something!

I have a unique perspective dream-wise because I once was able to walk. In all my dreams, initially, after I first went into a wheelchair full time, I always had the ability to walk. It was just me, only in walking form. For years, I’ve dreamed of myself in a male form. That probably dates back to my teenage years, or I was otherwise ambiguous looking, though I always could feel myself walking.

In the past year or so, my dreams have been changing. I always start out walking, but midway through, it’s as if my rational and logical mind invades my dream. I don’t always stop walking, but I have this conscious knowledge that I have mobility problems of some sort, and whatever I’m dreaming about has to be adapted to the fact that I can’t get around, as well. I’m not exactly sure why this is happening or when it started happening, but I do know that I’m remembering your average walking dream, which changes to my sitting or having a limp or some disability issues, by the end of the dream.

I should probably state that I’ve never really had problems accepting my disability. It’s just sort of there, and I am glad I have a wheelchair to get around. I’ve had my disability all my life. It’s just evolved into something more visible, as the years have gone on. I sort of feel like that this is what is happening in my dreams. My disability is starting to make its presence known in my dreams.

So, what do you think this change to my dreams means? If you have a disability is it present in your dreams or not? Also, when you dream, whether you have a disability or not, do things that happen in your life change your dreams for better or for worse?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

[tags]dreams, disability, wheelchair, walking, changes, subconscious[/tags]

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